In our adult lives, we are faced with many crossroads. Decisions, mistakes, and consequences we are faced with every day for our choices. Sometimes, we are rewarded. Sometimes, we take the heat of the consequences like a stoning.

For every action, there is a reaction. If we wade through all the shit, all the hurt, and all the words, we come out the other side unscathed. Or do we? I believe we change. Permanently. Every time we are faced with a life-altering decision, we can go one of two ways. No matter which way you choose, there is a future. Sometimes, those crossroads and that future are hard to see. That’s what life is: Decisions, mistakes and consequences. That’s one way to look at it.

No one can change back time. If we did each time we made a mistake, we would never move forward. We would live out each section of our life, make a mistake, and then start over from a ‘checkpoint’. This isn’t a game. You can’t reset. Those decisions are permanent. If you don’t move on, you fall into a depressive state where you can’t get up. You will never see the good in those decisions. You will never get up and look up and realize the sun is shining. It’s a new day. Start again. There’s so much to do. So much left to live. Get up and get over it.

For each of those decisions that may have a consequence, there is also a blessing. I feel if we dwell and sink into the hole of lack self worth, we miss that blessing. We pass it and realize later and regret it. Then, there is more thing we have missed out on. Then, you are living in regret as well as wanting to go back and change everything. In those crossroads, there are the things that will try to hold you back. The people, the events, society, social media, whatever. Haters gonna hate. If you don’t get up, you can’t get stronger. Face it, you made a decision. Own it. For that decision gets put on your permanent record. But don’t forget about everything that goes along with it. The aftermath, but also the future. Good things can also come from shitty situations. Get through the shit, move on. Things will get better. And things are phenomenal for me now. I see that and everything else is sticks and stones.

One decision led to more serious, bigger decisions. Reflecting on these decisions, looking back only gets you so far. Moving on and looking forward is exciting. Black marks are inevitable. Make the best of your life, each and every day. Not everything is a pretty picture. Sometimes, things get dark. That’s ok. Learning to move forward and accept those black marks makes us strong.

In making these decisions, sometimes you lose people on the way. It’s all part of the game. You find out who you truly want in your life, who lifts you up and supports you in all the struggles you face. We choose our relationships based on quite a few factors. For me, I choose the people who make me feel positive about my life, who intellectually challenge me, share my same sense of humor or values, and who I can enjoy a good time with. I also want to try new experiences, and be with people who are willing to try things with me, make me laugh, support me, and who will love me for me. I want to treat them how I am treated. Making them dinner, helping them clean, move, shop, keeping them company when they are sad, entertaining their kids, meet their friends, WHATEVER. I want to be there for them. I want the same in my life.

I try to eliminate people in my life who are toxic. We all mislabel people on occasion. Sometimes, when we make these decisions, we make the wrong ones. We make poor judgement calls at one time or another. I have a hard time with this because I like to see the good in everyone. This is a fairy tale. Not everyone is good. And sometimes, it takes a while to see the truth. I have learned in my adult life, people are not as they seem. I’m having a harder time trusting people in my adulthood. I’ve been deceived, betrayed, lied to, played on, abused, and shot down. I won’t be making these same mistakes again. I ignored some red flags. I won’t make the same mistake twice. I’ll be listening to my instincts a little closer from now on. I will not be caught in anyone else’s web of manipulation.

This is my story. I’m the only one who can tell it.