Guide after guide will teach you how to be happy. But at the end of the day, many people feel they don’t deserve it. Guess what…THIS IS A LIE. I found this page to help people who are feeling these thoughts. No matter what they’ve done or what they’ve been through. You just need the strength to want it.
As I have been through some shit, been at rock bottom, and been at the highest highs, let me tell you what I think on how anyone can achieve happiness.
Obstacle 1-Caring what other people think. We spend way too much trying to live up to others’ expectations. Just live for you What makes you happy? Do that. Living through other people’s lives on social media, tv, or just a stereotype you want to follow isn’t going to make you happy. Are you jealous or want to live a certain way? Then make the change. Instead of focusing all your energy on how other people live their lives, or what you are ‘supposed’ to do, reflect on your life and concentrate on making yourself a better person. Make a plan for yourself. Life doesn’t seem to follow plans exactly, but at least you have a direction of where you want to go.
Obstacle 2-Overanalze situations and dwelling on the past. Sometimes overanalyzing situations that haven’t even happened yet. Looking too far into the future and creating negative outcomes. Or even overanalyzing a tiny little problem and then making a much bigger problem. Deal with the situation as it happens, then move on. Adding more stress to a stressful situation just makes it worse. Dwelling on a mistake, or something that happened previously will also just increase stress, make you feel like crap, and then you think of the ‘what if’ or ‘if this didn’t happen…’ scenarios. There is absolutely no reason to live like this. You can’t fix it by replaying it in your head. Make peace, and if necessary forgive yourself and drop the baggage.
Obstacle 3-Taking blame for others’ problems. This is usually to protect or please the other person, while you are losing something of your own. Time, money, energy, etc. Setting up emotional boundaries can help you say no, but also demand a certain respect of how you want to be treated. Being honest about how you are feeling can prevent major problems in the future. I know it’s hard, but I found this nice guide on how to do it. It’s difficult and awkward in the beginning, but I found this a long time ago when I was learning how to set emotional boundaries for myself. At the end of the day, you have to take care of you and your life first.
Obstacle 4-Surrounding yourself with negativity. The biggest things are your own thoughts. Focusing on things you don’t have instead of what you already have. I’m not only talking about material things. I’m talking about people, lifestyles, money, etc. It goes for everything. Be grateful and appreciative of what you already have instead of mooning over what you don’t. Toxic/negative people fall into this category too. You can easily surround yourself with people who make you feel special. People who don’t appreciate you for WHO YOU ARE have no place in your life any more. This may change as time goes on. Who was your good friend before may not be anymore. They just bring negative feelings and thoughts to the table. Surround yourself with positive people, happy vibes, and good feels. Have a job that makes you stressed? Then maybe it’s time to find another one. There are other jobs that will pay the bills. Is this your career path and it’s a temporary unhappiness? Then, give it a time line, and if it doesn’t slow down, you need to make a change.
Obstacle 5-Clutter and mess. I’m not only talking about your room here either. If you take on too many tasks, don’t have enough downtime, or feel like you have been spread too thin, you need to slow it down. Cut out the bullshit in your life. Material things are just that-material. Life settles down quickly when there is less you have to worry about. This includes people, material objects, jobs, tasks, errands, etc. This is all stress you are putting on yourself. Cut it out. The act of cleaning it all out is therapeutic too. Get your physical space all clean, and your mental space will clear up too.
Obstacle 6-Grudges and anger. These bags are very heavy. Holding on to anger, bitterness, grudges or not forgiving someone honestly doesn’t do you any good. And no, it’s not punishing the other person either. So what good does it do to feel that way? If you haven’t gotten the apology you deserve, if you haven’t been forgiven for something you did, or maybe you’re just mad at how people treat other people. Guess what? It doesn’t do any good to hold on to it. The sooner you stop caring about whatever it is, the sooner you can start to move on. Usually in these situations, it’s not something you can do anything about anyway.
Obstacle 7-Complaining. This is huge. Things happen. You had a fight and it ended badly. You got cut off on your way to work. You didn’t like what that one person said that one time. Get over it and move on. Don’t put more energy into the situation, as you just give it power. Just let it go and talk about something happy instead.
Obstacle 8-Focusing on insecurities instead of attractive qualities. Seeing a pattern yet? Yeah, this one is also negativity based, but based on self reflection. First of all, you are beautiful. Secondly, you are worth it. You give yourself value, not other people. Live your life by your own set of standards, not everyone else’s. Be a good person. Let’s be honest, we aren’t perfect. NO ONE is. Physically or mentally or anything! We all have flaws, and we all have different bodies. Just because we can’t all look like Megan Fox doesn’t mean we aren’t beautiful. Every single person on this planet has BEAUTIFUL traits. Who cares about the other stuff? Looks are usually just expensive packaging, and when we’re old and grey, it doesn’t matter. What matters is how we treated people, what kind of person we grew up to be, and if we were happy.
Obstacle 9-Food and Exercise. If you aren’t comfortable with how your physical condition is or how you don’t feel at your best, you can change it. Eat healthier and exercise regularly. Honestly, this is great for your mental wellbeing too. I know that when I’m working out, I’m much happier in the long run. I feel more confident about myself, I feel like I achieved something, and I really enjoy pushing myself! Good nutrition is important for taking care of your mental welling too!
Obstacle 10-The hardest one I think…Trying hard to be someone else instead of embracing who you are. Love thyself. Focus on what makes you happy. Write down things you love about yourself. Write down your talents and your achievements. Write down things you think make you different than other people. You are unique, special, and beautiful. Now, you just have to believe it.
That was my 10-step list. Here are some others: