I have started to take a step back from life and gain perspective. Sometimes, this is the only way you can gain clarity. Being involved in the drama, the heartache, relationships…being IN IT is sometimes blinding. So, I have decided to observe a little more and be open to letting things go as well as allowing things to happen naturally. This seems counter intuitive, doesn’t it? Let me explain.
I have started to listen to other people and focus on their story instead of my own. Not necessarily fix their problems, but see if I can help them with clarity. Or just listen. My goal is not to guide them into choosing one side or the other, but to help them take a step back and look at their situation as a whole. Slowing everything down and helping them understand why they are in the situation they are in, what to do about it now, but also look towards the future without “getting stuck” on any particular part of those areas. This can be applied to absolutely everything in a person’s life.
I have also started to let go of stress and things that are out of my control. First – I cannot control other people’s actions or their feelings. As much as I want to help, understand, or shake someone and force them to make the “right” choice (or what I believe is the right choice), I have let this go. I can control me, my emotions, my actions, and my life. I am in control of my life. Second-I cannot control acts of God or nature or series’ of events that cause me to end up in a certain situation. If I can’t control it, I’m not stressing over it. I do the best I can, and I make the best decision in the most as I see fit.
I am in control. Say it. This is so empowering. I have the right to make my own decisions and my own boundaries. I have the right to say no. I have the right to ask for what I want. I have the right to control my stand in a relationship. I have the right to stand up for what I believe in. I have the right to control where my life goes. Feels good, doesn’t it. I put myself into the situations that have hurt me, and I’m not allowing people to do that to me anymore. That doesn’t mean I’m shutting people out, but I will no longer allow another person to have that much control over my emotion. I can enjoy being with people in many different ways, and that doesn’t mean I need to be a hermit. I’m finding the happy medium.
So, I’m going out and I’m doing it. One minute at a time. I have a long term goal, I have short term goals. And they involve me. As awesome as company is when there are fun things to do, I am focusing on me and I can have fun by myself. If I think ‘Oh, that sounds fun.’ I will do it, instead of thinking about doing it. Everything costs money, but what’s money? Just a thing you need to get what you want. I’m making it happen. Priorities.
I want land. I want a horse and chickens, and a bigger place to run my company. Why? To feel fulfilled. To feel important. To be needed. To be happy. That’s my livelihood goal. I want to go see places and learn how to do new amazing things. I want a lifestyle that will support the type of life I want. I thought I had big dreams. My livelihood goal being a big dream, I mean. It is.. But I’m dreaming bigger than that. I want days off, I want vacations, I want ‘getaways’. I want a self sustaining company. I’m paying my dues to make that happen. I see a future, and I’m putting in the time to make it into what I know it can be.
However, I am also seeing the now. I make choices that make me enjoy life today as well. Little things like coffee at the cafe while browsing the internet and listening to music, curled up on the couch in front of the fire reading a book, snowboarding in the gorgeous mountains with people who I enjoy their company, walking my dogs on trail and enjoying just being outside, swimming in a lake throwing a ball for my dog while listening to the birds chirp, hiking and drinking in the beauty of a waterfall, enjoying a meal while watching people in the city, dancing at a club feeling the music, I want it all. I have plans for a few trips this year and I’m doing them for me. I won’t say no if someone wants to join me, but I am going regardless if anyone does.
I am learning to stop worrying about other people. What they are thinking, doing, that’s their business. Worrying about it causes stress and anxiety, and I’m letting it go. It doesn’t matter, and it doesn’t benefit me in the slightest. I live for me. At the end of the day, I want to say I did something with my life. Big things. I lived and experienced. I also want to say I know how to ‘relax’, ‘take it easy’, ‘recharge’. To do this, I’m taking a step back from all the drama and just learning to be.
What’re your goals? How’re you applying this to your daily life?