A True Leader

What makes a true leader? Is it money? Or power? Or the ability to cause others to fear you? Ignorance, maybe? I’m not just talking about the newly elected President. I’m talking about all leadership figures. CEOs, parents, dog parents, teachers… etc. What really makes someone powerful? What makes you want to follow someone? I’ll tell you what it is for me. I’ll tell you how someone can gain my respect and make me want to follow them to the ends of the Earth.

If I was a leader, I would provide patience. This is a scary word because you give up all control when you have patience, and put your faith in their hands. You watch and let them make mistakes. Then, you gently guide them back into making a better choice next time. Chewing on the furniture or drawing on the walls? “Hey! That’s not ok! But you can chew on this toy, or write on this paper.” Then, the frustration is gone, and you go about your day. A gentle, small correction, and then redirection onto something appropriate is enough.

What happens when frustration gets the better of you? And you overcorrect? Yell at them, take something away, add way too many rules (keep them on a short leash, in dog terms), or maybe even turn to a physical correction that is too rough? It always damages the relationship. Every time. Whether that’s your dog, your child, America’s citizens, or your significant other. What is recovery like? Distrust, hurt, anger, and walls go up. You have lost respect. Which, in turn, will also turn into distrust. When the respect and the trust are gone, there is no meaningful relationship anymore. The negativity will overcome all the positivity in the relationship, and it will be harder and harder to recover, if at all.

Patience. If you stop trying to control everything, and you let it go with gentle corrections, the relationship will recover over time, and the trust will return. This has to be an active choice, and you can’t half ass this. Take emotion out of it, and truly try to meet the others’ needs during this fragile time. Acceptance, trust, and respect are earned. This doesn’t happen overnight. Let things heal before you start pushing. Wait it out, wait for them to make a decision. Kids, dogs, significant others, and America. Stop trying to force their decisions. When forced, especially with aggression, more and more damage will occur to the point where it is non-recoverable. Anger, hate, irritability, and rioting will become a daily occurrence. As emotions subside, recovery can begin.

spreadloveI’m disappointed in this election’s results. However, this was what America wanted. We are in a democratic government, and the public has decided they feel this is the best choice for our country. I don’t need to spread negativity to make it clear how I feel, and my one vote (if I had even voted) didn’t matter, as I thought. But, we, as a people, had a voice. I had faith in the public. When we have anxiety, it’s because we don’t have control. I’m trying to relinquish my control, so I put my faith in the American people to make a choice. I had patience, and I didn’t watch the numbers last night, I went to sleep with thoughts of my hunny and our dogs. I thanked the spirits for how fortunate I was to have a safe place to live, be surrounded by animals, and that we have a beautiful plan for our future. I didn’t think of politics, or anything else. I went to sleep peacefully, even though I didn’t sleep well. I had a very bad, very disturbing dream that left me with a pit in my stomach. So I meditated and pushed out whatever negative energy had made it’s way inside me. I want to feel light and happy, and that dream was not helping me. It was emotionally jarring, and I didn’t need to hang on to it. So I let it go and went about my morning.

The people spoke and decided what they wanted. It is over, it’s been decided, and now recovery can begin, if America will let it be and start spreading love to each other. Let’s be positive and patient in this time so we can help our country heal. We all have to work together.

Hate, negativity, fear, control, and pride are all things that will not help us heal. Let’s show America’s beauty and honor the sacrifices so many have made for us to be able to live the way we do. Our soldiers died for the right for us to vote. They died for us to have the freedom of speech. Our soldiers aren’t the only ones who sacrifice. There are acts of bravery on a daily basis that we don’t see. So, don’t ignore them. Don’t take those for granted. These warriors gave up so much so we can have the freedom to feel those emotions without fear of expressing them. So regardless of who you voted for, or your standpoint on politics, religion or any other personal value, spread love and understanding. Seek to learn, instead of to hurt. Go out of your way to be positive and cast aside negative thoughts. Lift each other up! So instead of sharing our negative thoughts, let’s bond together and make this the country it was meant to be. We can all make a difference, we are all important. It doesn’t matter who is President, let’s find the beauty in this new leadership. Let’s be hopeful and positive, and help make each other’s lives beautiful. Share positivity wherever you go, and shine your light bright. You matter. We ALL matter.

america

Programming

As my energy healer calls it, I’ve been running the same “program” for many years, resulting in the same story presenting itself over and over again in different areas of my life. We changed a program. I feel myself wanting to go back to that program sometimes.

The one I’m taking about is the ability to solve problems or find solutions. Sometimes, I’ve made up my own problems so that I could make up a solution for it. I’ve done this for years, and I was always told it was a symptom of anxiety. To keep the mind busy means happiness. When left alone, you feel unprepared when something does happen. Well, I’m no longer running this program. Which means less stress overall, and I don’t have to make up problems. Which also means I don’t have to constantly think about solutions all the time. Big projects and dreams don’t overwhelm me anymore, and I’m no longer looking at the end result. I’m looking at the now, and enjoying the journey.

goodlifeGoal-driven projects and dreams set us up to fail, increase stress, and always make us seem like we don’t have enough. So, I’ve stopped running this program. I take life as I go, and enjoy the every day moments a little more. I stop reading into every word said (or not said), and the little things that would normally drive me into a frenzy because I couldn’t figure out what the underlying meaning was.

“It’s not a big deal” used to irritate me when people said that to me. TO ME, everything was a big deal. I was all or nothing, and every day, I reminded myself of the big dreams, big goals, and BIG life I live. I guess it was an overwhelming weight on my shoulders. I take it as it comes now. It’s a way lighter feeling to not have to worry about how much I’m moving towards my goals. I’m exactly where I need to be. I have dreams, sure. And I’m motivated, but I’m done letting it affect my state of mind all the time and bring me down.

I work hard to be positive and to enjoy the moment. I don’t miss the little things that make life LIFE anymore. I go through phases where I see everything that’s beautiful and appreciate even the things a lot of people can’t see the beauty in. I go out of my way to see the good in people. Then, other phases, where I want to complain, bitch, and pick out all the negative things…especially in myself. When my self esteem is low, I look for things that are wrong with me. Why I can’t be happy, or make anyone else happy. My job is not to make anyone else happy. It’s to be happy.

So, I’ve been enjoying every single little thing I can think of, and filling up my thoughts with positive, happy vibes. No matter what’s going on around me, I’m in control of my state of mind, and how I see the world. So, I choose to see the beauty…again. I lose touch every once in a while, and I think that’s part of the learning curve.

I’ll get it. I want to be a positive, shining example for people who struggle with positivity. I want to share these happy feelings with the dogs I work with, my clients, and every person I come in contact with.

My success is based off of what I value about myself. Not what others gauge to be important to them. What does success mean to you? Personal value? Money? Family? Land? Material possessions? To me, it means emotional prosperity. I want to fill fulfilled as a person, and feel like I have achieved happiness. There are many ways to get there. What do I need to feel that way? A positive state of mind where I can appreciate all the good around me. What does it mean to you?

beautySo, world peace, love, and harmony to every one who reads this. We are all beautiful people. Don’t let anyone tell you different. You don’t need someone to tell you that you’re beautiful. Remind yourself instead. You are in charge of your own happiness. It’s hard sometimes, but you’re purpose is your own. You can lift yourself up, you can also bring yourself down. You are in charge of you. Make this so. In the end, the only person you have is you.

The Power of the Mind

Battle Creek Falls, UTWe are in control of our own state of mind. Certain events can trigger emotions in a certain direction. Such as fear, anxiety, depression, hyperactivity. Adrenaline, dopamine, melatonin, serotonin…You know what these are. They work together (or against each other in certain situations) to create emotions. You have the power OVER your own mind and the ABILITY to guide these chemicals to stay in balance. I am not medicated for bipolar, depression, mania, insomnia, meltdowns or psychotic episodes. This is a CHOICE I made because I don’t want a drug controlling my state of mind. I feel like I need to be stronger than the chemicals, and stronger than the need to have drugs controlling me.

Battle Creek selfieThere have been certain events in the last few months that have caused me to feel a high on life. I learned to love me for me. I love my strengths, and I have accepted and have learned to also love my weaknesses. I saw how beautiful the world is and what it has to offer. I see beauty everywhere and in everyone. It wasn’t until I could see the world this way, that I found another soul who also sees the world the way I see it. I look into his eyes and I see everything. Everything he is, what he’s been through to get here, how he sees the world, and how he sees me. And his soul is beautiful, and I’ve fallen for him. Every day, I find a new reason to love my life and to keep trying to be better every day. I love where I’m going, and I’m finally feeling like I’m reaping some benefits from all the struggles I have faced in the last few years. I kept saying I needed some good things to happen. I was way off base. I needed to OPEN MY EYES to the good things and MAKE them happen. If I wasn’t in the right mental place, I would have missed this. I would have missed the beauty, and I wouldn’t have met this absolutely incredible person. I deserve to receive genuine love, and I want to give it to someone who is as deserving. I needed to learn to love myself before I could even reciprocate this. I didn’t even know what I was missing in my life. I thought I had gotten over the feeling of having a broken soul, and I was ‘whole’ again. Again, I’ve been blown away. I didn’t realize what ‘whole’ meant until now.

I have been faced with difficult trials regarding my business, my living situation, my psyche stability, and financial security. I have tried hard to keep a level head on my shoulders during this time, and I feel I have succeeded. I refuse to fall into traps that will suck me back down and take away the feeling of wholeness I have. Nothing can take that from me, and I control my state of mind. The world is not out to get me, and we are all faced with our own set of unique challenges. Some more difficult than others, and sometimes, it feels like everything is crashing down. Through all of this, my attitude has been that of it’s just a trial.

Turn Wheel Battle Creek, UTA very relevant analogy I have been thinking about today, is that it’s just another hill I need to climb, and I will push past it. I’ll overcome it, and there are always crests coming up. Sometimes, the inclines are steep and daunting, but there are always crests. This is the walk of life. And I am learning to love every step, even the hard ones. Even when I’m exhausted and feel the want to give up, I won’t. Because the rewards of completing just one more step are so incredible, that I don’t want to sacrifice them. The hills never end, we will always keep climbing, but we will get stronger, and sometimes there are downhills and plateaus where we can catch our breath. I will not stop, I will not be beaten. I will not miss out on something because I’m tired. I want to experience everything and grow. If I stop walking, I’m not moving forward and progressing. I’m in no rush to finish life. I want to enjoy the journey, the scenery, and feel everything. I took a much needed meditative hike today, and reflected on all these things. It was good to get some perspective and realize how strong my mind and willpower have become. I’m impressed with myself, and I’ll only keep getting stronger.