Random Keywords

Random-randomLooking through some of the keywords people have put in to find my blog on search engines. I have done ZERO SEO work on my blog because I’m not interested in getting views. I just want to tell my story to the world and people who are interested. If you want to read, awesome. If not, you’ll die a painfully horrible death that’s ok too.

Anyway, here are some that stood out, or were super common in the list of 400 keywords people searched for. I didn’t include the obvious ones like ‘heather Hamilton dog training’ or ‘how do I potty train my puppy’ or ‘great dane puppies’ because those aren’t interesting at all, and those actually make sense.

sexwoman, pet gay sex, husband leash training, sex lasben muskart, sexwoman ah nd animal, dogtraining gay fiction, puppy with no money, heather hamilton dog, dog training gay bara, singapore roller coaster vector, can bearded dragons eat triscuits, gay puppy training pads, dog gaysex, heather beck dog training

So, let’s think of this logically. Lots of gay animal sex keywords mentioned. I don’t think I have ever wrote about gay dog sex, gay puppy training pads, dog training gay fiction, or anything gay in Singapore. But, ok. Not sure how my blog came up with those searches. Great job, Google. Let’s clear something up. Dogs can’t be gay. Ok, moving on.

‘husband leash training’. This makes sense if you are into that sort of thing. I can see the appeal. I don’t think I would write about it on my blog, however. I would have to go look through every single post I have ever made to see if I have discussed ever attaching a leash to my husband.

Next one is ‘puppy with no money’. It is a sad world indeed. That puppy may just need to find a job.

Now, Singapore roller coaster vector. I.. don’t even know what to say about this one.

Can bearded dragons eat triscuits? Umm, I guess they could if they wanted to… Not healthy for them, but I’m sure if they were hungry enough, they certainly could eat a triscuit. Man, what are people searching for nowadays? Bored much?

And the last one that is interesting and kind of cool – ‘heather back dog training’. Heather Beck is a trainer in my area, a highly reputable awesome trainer, I might add. She owns K9 Lifeline and teaches workshops throughout the year. The workshops I have attended this year have all been at her facility, and I am also taking her Certification course next week at her facility. She travels to Belize a lot to help adoptions out there as well as spay/neuter and help with vaccinations. She also works with Cesar Millan on his workshops. I’m excited to get to actually work closely with her next week.

Anyway, this post was random, but I wanted to at least write something this week. Just a heads up- next week will be busy since I will be at my workshop, so don’t expect a post from me.

Chow for now brown cow.

Random Post is Random

So, when I’m bored during a meeting at work or in the shower, I tend to think about things. Random things, usually.

This morning, I was thinking about my funeral, and how mine would go. I don’t have a lot of friends, per se, but the ones I do have, are full of awesome. They would go. Would my dog training clients go? Would they be sad? What about my fellow coworkers at my company? My neighbors? My dog training mentor? My family in other states… they didn’t come to my wedding. I had a wedding full of my husband’s family and friends. I’m really grateful my family came to my wedding. My grandfather came too. That was nice. I don’t get to see him often enough.

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I got around to thinking about how my service should take place. I don’t want it to be expensive. That’s hard for the family. I would like a tree to be planted in my name, but my body donated to science. Maybe people can learn from me, I don’t know. Pick apart my brain and see how I tick. I would want a big non-poison oak tree planted in a nice animal sanctuary. I would just like a gathering of all my friends and family to come around this tree to be planted. I’m fine with dogs peeing on me, and cats scratching me.

Food at my funeral would include junk, mostly. And wine. Definitely wine. You can pick your favorite, white, red, and drink around my tree. That would be very nice. Oh, and music! We’ll have to play songs from my favorite bands, whether they are appropriate or not. Who cares? It’s my service! I would want Muse and Apocalyptica… maybe some Metallica, and Evanescence. Anyway, play what I like, not that shitty funeral drawl. Make it fun, make it a party. Remember my awesome, dammit! 😡

Somehow, all this talk about funerals reminded me of if I should have a living will. Where will all my stuff go? To whom? What about my animals, my business? Well, obviously, to my husband first. But I think I would have my cats go to my best friend. I know she would take care of them. Again, for privacy, we will call her Mary. Her name really isn’t Mary, but she loves cats. And they would be well taken care of. My dog, well, I would probably want him to be taken by a good friend, who studies nutrition, and is good at training. They don’t have to be the best, just enough training to understand what my boy needs.  Strong leadership, and they have to know when to correct him. What is acceptable, and what is not. My bearded dragon would go to the person who ‘co-parents’ him with me.

Then, my business. I would just have it die out, I think. I don’t trust anyone with it right now. I don’t have employees, and I don’t think anyone can run this shit like I can! So, they can come up with their own business, not steal mine. When I get bigger, maybe things will change. But for now, it’s ok to have it shut down.

All my shit. Meh, donate or sell it. My parents can have the money. I have nice shit, as we just refurnished, so they can have some of it if they want. But we have junk too. But not much. I tend to keep on top of it. My online-blog-friend, Viv, dedicates her own blog to selling her shit. She has way more than I do, fun read!

However, I did just buy a juicer! I purchased a Breville JE98XL Juice Fountain Plus! And I’m pretty excited to use it! It comes in on Friday, and I will be making juice… with my new juicer! I have always wanted to make juice, but I thought it was a lot of work. Not with this baby! Stick those vegetables in, and this machine auto-magically pulps everything, mixes everything, and blends it all into a nice juice! Yay! I’ll let you know how it goes.

So, this weekend, I will be juicing, and learning SATS (Syn Alia Training System). It’s a whole new way to train your dog, and I’m so excited to learn it. It’s kind of hard to follow, but once you learn it, it’s pretty easy to execute. I have just started the material, and I have a pretty good idea of how to train, but my dog and I will be practicing. Check out the website, and watch this video! It’s pretty amazing!