“Do or do not. There is no try.” – Yoda

Had an epiphany today when doing some house hunting. The place I had in mind fell through. That’s ok, hakuna matata. I’ll find something else, and something better. I won’t let the little things like this get me down. I’m always looking for the ‘next big thing’. And this place is where I will make my footprint. It’s a little strange thinking about how I’m leaving this house and moving on… a lot of emotions on that. I’ll deal with those later (compartmentalizing), and I’m focusing on my big picture goal. Which is to get a place up and running where I can live and work, and leave work at work.

My epiphany had to do with the quote above. There have been many areas of my life where I’ve said ‘I’m trying’. ‘I’m trying to get better at ____’. ‘I’m trying to work things out’. ‘I’m trying!’ Stop. I’m done trying. I’m DOING. I’m not TRYING to find a place. I AM finding a place. I’m not TRYING to work things out. I AM working things out. I’m not TRYING to run an Ironman at the end of the year. I AM running an Ironman at the end of the year. It’s too hard for me to be half assed, in the middle or just trying. I’m better than that.

“The only failure is not to try.” – George Clooney

But what holds up back from giving it our all? Fear. Of what? I’ll tell you. It’s fear of failing. Everyone is scared of this in one sense or another. So… I’m scared. And I’m doing it anyway. I was nervous about working horses (I’ve always had a healthy fear of animals bigger than me). I’ve started working with them and learning a little about horsemanship. I’m scared of going through big milestones by myself. I’m doing it alone – like selling my house and buying a new one, moving into a temporary location. Let’s be honest, I think everyone is a little scared of doing big things like this alone. Starting my business somewhere else terrifies me. I did it before, yes… but I had the support of my ex husband. Now, I really am on my own and have the support of myself. Relocating is scary, but I’m doing it. I was/am afraid of guns. I went shooting (And I did really good!). I’m scared about doing big house projects. Guess what? Yeah, I’ve done some big ones recently. And I think my biggest fear of everything… I am scared of putting myself out there emotionally. I’m trying again – cautiously, but I’m doing it. To receive the type of emotional support and love I deserve, I need to put myself out there too. So, I’m in. And I’m putting all of me out there. I’m all about doing things that scare me lately.

“There is no failure except in no longer trying.” – Elbert Hubbard

So, I’m done ‘trying’. I’m DOING now. If I want something, I’m working on my big goals. Even if it means I fail. Hard. I’m in. All the way. Failure doesn’t mean the world is ending, it just means there’s an opportunity to learn and grow. The fear of the unknown totally scares me. When I don’t know what is going to happen, I usually have horrible anxiety. I’m going with the flow this time, and just letting what happens, happen.

Do something that scares you every day. It will help build you into an unstoppable entity of power and confidence. Just do it in the right away so you don’t become an asshole. At least, I believe that. I have more drive every day where everything else is telling me I’ll fail. Sometimes I get knocked down. Hard. But it seems the harder I fall, the stronger I become.

Ok life…. it’s time to BEAST MODE!!!!

“Experience teachings slowly, and at the cost of mistakes.” – James A. Froude.