Sometimes, it feels like the stars align in just the perfect way where you can’t believe things happened so perfectly. Careful though, this is not to be confused with a fairytale. Those don’t exist, and usually seem great until they come crashing down at some point. As I have said before, I’m choosing the way I want to live my life. I want to see amazing things, I want to put forth the very best I can, and I want to be happy. I want the hard parts too, because challenges and obstacles are what make us into who we are. Where I am now, I don’t need much to be happy. Which also makes me happy knowing that. I’ve worked so hard to develop the tools I have now to feel the way I do. I came from dark emotional alleys and dangerous gullies flooded with toxic thoughts. It’s taken so much time, effort, and a shit ton of sacrifice to pull myself out. But once I did, I’ve realized what is important, and what are distractions.
Every single day is a new opportunity to do better, be stronger, learn more, and grow. I feel I have done so much growing in the last several years, and it’s turned me into the person I am today. However, to grow much, you need to lose much. I have lost, I have hurt, I have been broken, and I have made mistakes that were costly. Yet, I have lived. I have so much more I want to do, and have so many dreams I want to fulfill. Failures are how we grow. I’ll keep making mistakes, and I’ll fail sometimes, and I’ll be ok with it. I’ll recover and move on. It makes me stronger, and I learn from them.
The situation and the experiences I have gone through in the last few years have been all over the map on the emotional scale. I lost myself. I learned to find it quickly, because I didn’t have a choice. I move fast, I don’t look back, and I heal fast. There isn’t another way. Life is too short and too precious to waste time on things that aren’t going to help us grow. The challenging part is figuring out what those things are.
I believe the soul is a muscle. We all have broken spirits in different ways from different things, and unless we truly want to devote the time and energy into strengthening and healing them, we can’t progress or feel true happiness. The journey of self discovery and self awareness started years ago. I didn’t realize it, but every choice I made brought me here. I look back and see what I’ve done, what I’ve been through, and where I’m going, and I am proud. I am humbled by the mistakes I have made, but I don’t regret anything because it has gotten me to where I am today. I love my life, and I love where I’m going. I have learned to pick myself up no matter what happens, and continue on. I am my own keeper, and I control my life.
There are parts that are uncertain or stagnant, but that’s ok. There are parts that are kind of shitty, and that’s ok too. And there are parts that are fucking incredible, which I like to think are the rewards. I have faith, love, and happiness in my life, and I will never stop giving 100% to everything I do. The reward of this is too great to do anything less.
So, here’s to you, Life. Thanks for all you do, and giving me the opportunities I have. To the mistakes I’ve made, to the rewards, to the learning, and to the failing. I don’t plan on stopping any time soon, nor do I plan on slowing down. Give me all you got, I want it all.
And just because I want to put some beautiful pictures I took of Moab in my post. Enjoy 😉